51yo 6' 174 married 19y 3 kids 14, 16, 30 heart surgeon not impressed with today's medical professionals attitudes spoiled my kids badly---didn't know how to be best father but love them dearly wife is beautiful and cool but we've had ups and downs consider myself a former athletic, intellectual, attractive, sincere individual trying to figure out best for kids without further spoiling and how to grow older while losing my perceived personal assets(non sono giovane!) want to exit materialistic and overwhelming ratrace soon trying eastern techniques to relax vs. old escapes